Basics Of Marriage Counseling

Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. That is why there is an increase in couples seeking marriage counseling. Nobody wants to think that the marriage they are in will end. Marriage counseling offers a way for couples to work thorough problems with an outside influence. Marriage counseling can help couples to rebuild a marriage that was on the way to divorce.

Marriage counseling is a type of therapy that helps married couples resolve problems they may be having in their marriage. Most often counseling is conducted with both partners present. However, sometimes there will be individual sessions depending on the couples needs. The basis for marriage counseling is research that has shown problems in a marriage are best solved through communication and working together. Marriage counseling usually lasts a short period of time, until the problems are resolved and the marriage is back on track and the couple can handle problems on their own. In a session the counselor will ask questions, listen and analyze problems. The counseling usually starts with an analysis of the marriage and its problems. Then the problems are worked through to an amicable conclusion.

Marriage counselors are trained in psychotherapy. They also have an understanding about families, how to understand client’s needs and problems. They also have training that allows them to help clients work through the problems to reach conclusions. All of this training lets them be able to identify underlying problems. A good marriage counselor will not make a client feel guilty or blame. They will teach clients to work through problems and get over bad feelings.

Marriage counseling can help couples open the lines of communication. Communication has been shown to be the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Couples with problems seek marriage counseling o get a better understanding of what has went wrong in their marriage, so they can once again have a string marriage.

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Marriage & Infidelity: Cheating Spouses Can’t Hide Their Extramarital Affairs From The Truth

Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity, which can reduce a marriage to crumble, shatter trust and create a breeding ground for insecurity, mistrust and resentment. Most of us have witnessed affairs among people we know, and some of us even have had affairs ourselves. This kind of thing happens in the real world, and it happens all the time. One third of all married couples admit to having cheated on their mates. Let’s not be naïve. That’s quite a large number of people taking risks!

Affairs begin with two people who find each other interesting and attractive. For whatever reason, the relationship escalates into romance and, finally, into sexual intimacy. People who seek romance and sexual intimacy outside of their primary relationship feel that their relationship is missing something, so they go out and they seek it from someone else.

If you feel deep in your heart, that your spouse is lying and being unfaithful to you, here are some ways to be sure. One of the techniques professionals use to tell who is lying, and who is telling the truth is to follow eye movements. Neuro-Linguistic Programming says that when people are constructing imaginary or fantasy images we look up and to the left if we are right-handed and up and to the right if we are left-handed. Think, “What color is my Mom’s hair?” Where did your eyes go? Now think, “I’m an astronaut and when I went to the moon I made a snow-man out of moon dust.” Where did your eyes go this time?

In the book, Telling Lies by lie-catcher Paul Ekman, he presents his ‘facial action coding system.’ These are the facial expressions we all use that are hard-wired to the brain and will show up without our conscious control. Charles Bond, a psychologist at Texas Christian University reported that among 2,520 adults surveyed in 6.3 countries, more than 70% believe that liars tend to avert their gazes and/or stutter, touch, or scratch themselves or tell longer stories than usual.

If you’re spouse is working too many late nights, think about this next time you ask them what their plans are for the night.

Although, there has been some research lately that says this analysis is too simplistic to be counted upon, detectives continue to use it along with other tools. There was a story in Outside Magazine about a detective involved in an investigation of a poaching in a national park. He claimed he could tell within one minute if someone was lying. I got very excited and tracked him down to a sub-station in Wyoming. He said that he teaches his skills to trainees in one hour but he wouldn’t tell me what they were. Maybe he thought I was a secret poacher (which is hard to be in Santa Barbara)

Here are some other ways to tell if your partner or spouse is lying and having an extramarital affair:

1. If their answer to your question is brief, clear, and direct, that is a good sign that it is true.
2. Liars start to elaborate and repeat themselves and sometimes their story or the details change.
3. The more a liar tries, the more you need to worry.

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