Save Marriage – Reconnect With Your Spouse Even If All Seems Lost
February 24, 2010 by Admin
Filed under Relationship Strategies, general
Many of us realize that marriage is not the easiest relationship in the world, but why is it so hard? Unless we adopt children, the only relatives that we get to choose are our spouses. Seems like it should work out, right? We can not change our parents or choose new siblings, but marriage– ahh that’s a whole different story.
Marriage brings out the best and the worst in a person’s character and shows us what we are capable of doing, both positive and negative. This special relationship challenges our mental, spiritual, social, and physical selves. Unfortunately, the natural human reaction to hard or stressful situations is fight or flight.
So after a few major disagreements with a spouse, frustrated partners second guess their initial decision to wed. The wheels start turning, and the flight response to the stressful situation becomes more and more attractive.
But what can you do if the fires of passion have burned out and only angry ones remain? How can you keep your soul connection with your spouse even during times of conflict?
1. Have confidence in the decision that you have made. Then realize that just like you wouldn’t normally divorce your mom or dad when they get on your last nerve, divorcing your spouse shouldn’t be the first thing that comes to mind when he/she annoys or disappoints you you repeatedly. I know it’s hard, but it’s a key factor in the success of your marriage.
2. If God is not at the center of your relationship, consider welcoming Him into the situation. To start, only one spouse needs to make this decision, but it’s best if both of you are on the same page. Praying together, and as individuals, can provide a solid foundation for your marriage and give you greater insight into what concerns your partner the most.
3. Make mutual respect a priority in your communication. If you find yourselves attacking each other personally, instead of discussing the pros and cons of a particular decision or action, then take a step back to reevaluate the situation. Choose words that reaffirm while getting your point across. For example, instead of saying: “I hate it when you don’t make time to be with me… the kids… etc.” TRY “Remember when we did XYZ? That was so much fun and the kids loved it too. Want to do it again?” SPOUSE’S REPLY HERE “Great! What date works for you?”
Additionally, don’t let other family members–kids, in-laws, steps, exes cloud your communication with each other. When they want to butt in, *respectfully* tell them to butt out. Then re-prioritize and refocus your attention on each other.
4. Listen even if you feel like you’ve heard the same statement hashed over and over again. Sometimes venting is necessary, and if your spouse can’t release his/her mental baggage with you, to whom will they voice their concerns? The lack of listening skills in marriage is one reason emotional infidelity gets started in the first place. If you take the time to listen now, you can avoid the headaches and heartaches associated with these extramarital relationships.
5. Start a ritual just for the two of you. Ideally, you’ll both take time out to do it every day or a few times a week. Engaging in ritual behavior, like sharing coffee, watching funny movies together or taking walks, gives you something to look forward to and can help you build intimacy.
6. Consider an organized marriage retreat. Retreats are great because, the facilitators give couples helpful tools for communicating, relating and often mating. You’ll see other couples who are going through the same challenges, and you’ll have time to focus solely on your relationship. No work, no kids/in-laws, no well-meaning friends, and no focusing on the ills of life.
7. Finally, make a point to get away every once in a while. This idea dovetails from the previous suggestion, but this time you and your honey will be alone. Whether you get your kids out of the house for a weekend or you book a seven day vacation to the Bahamas, it is necessary for you and your husband or wife to have extended alone time without any distractions.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Save Your Marriage – Effective Tips to Resolve Your Conflicts and Save Your Marriage
September 12, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Marriage Guidance, Relationship Breakdown, Relationship Strategies
Marriage can be one of the most important decision you could ever make in your life. As such a significant decision affects your entire future, it is crucial to find a solution to problems and conflicts in your relationship. Although your current outlook may look bleak, you can find comfort in knowing that you can save your marriage starting today.
You and your spouse should try to find a time and place where you will have no interruptions and begin discussing the problems in your marriage. Sometimes, your spouse may not even have any idea that you have a problems with some aspect of your relationship and you may also be unaware of your partner’s issues as well. Not talking about your conflicts can make your problems grow bigger and bigger like a snowball so it is important to get things out in the open as soon as possible.
Avoid becoming confrontational and turning your conversation into an argument. Remember, you are trying to have a discussion to resolve issues, not create additional ones. Remain calm and rational and if things start to get heated, you both should end the conversation and take a breather before it turns into a fight.
Even if there are several problems, make a goal to solve just one problem at a time. This way you can focus on one issue before moving onto the next one. Be prepared to compromise and make some sacrifices for each other to save your marriage. Once you have come to an agreement, work together on a daily basis to stick to your promise to one another.
Also, remember the problems probably did not come about overnight. You both will need to take it slow and not expect it to be resolved immediately. Just be patient with each other because it will take time and effort to repair your relationship.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Can Love Save Your Marriage and Stop Divorce
September 11, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Marriage Guidance, Relationship Breakdown, Relationship Psychology, Relationship Strategies
Can love really save a marriage and stop divorce? In many cases, yes. Your love for each other may be the only thing left the two of you agree upon or have in common. Even when it may seem like divorce may be the only solution, if there are still feelings for each other, it is not too late to save your marriage.
Think back a time in your relationship before your problems began. Obviously, things were much better, otherwise you would not have gotten married in the first place. Since you once loved one another, the chances of finding happiness once again are good. You just need to know how to get to that point and what both of you need to do.
Relationships can take a turn for the worse for many reasons. Some of the most common ones are lack of communication, lack of intimacy, neglect, indifference, and simply just getting into the rut of daily life. These problems and issues can be overcome with commitment and determination to have a better marriage.
When struggling with marital problems, it is important to remember that men and women are different when it comes to thoughts and emotions. Women generally tend to talk about their emotions and express their emotions more than men. This does not mean that men do not feel their emotions. Men just generally tend to hold their emotions inside more than women. Women normally talk more about their thoughts than men as well.
Opening the lines of communication can be very helpful in dealing with many issues. The ability to discuss problems in a calm manner can assist in reaching a resolution. If you are unable to talk to each other, seeking the advice of a marriage counselor can often help. Having an impartial third party who is experienced in marital matters can help lead your discussions and get you on the right track.
If you truly want to save your marriage and stop divorce, your love for each other can be the key to your success.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Save My Marriage – 4 Myths and Truths of Using Forgiveness to Save Your Marriage
September 10, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Marriage Guidance, More >>, Relationship Breakdown, Relationship Psychology, Relationship Strategies, general
There are many myths about forgiveness, but in order to save your marriage, forgiveness is a necessary factor. Whether your marital problems are caused by infidelity, financial problems, or most other issues, the ability to forgive will allow you to have a much greater chance of success. Deciphering the myths and truth about forgiving your spouse can help you in your decision to save your marriage.
Myth: If you forgive your spouse, you forget the problem.
Truth: Chances are that you will not forget the problem. However, you can forgive your partner for what he or she has done. Certainly, the issue will remain in your thoughts and that is perfectly normal. The act of forgiveness is only the first step to resolving troubles.
Myth: If you forgive, you are showing approval for what he or she has done.
Truth: On the contrary, approving or condoning an action has nothing to do with forgiveness. You can still acknowledge your disapproval and give the other person another chance.
Myth: Forgiveness means you trust your spouse.
Truth: Once trust has been broken, it can take quite awhile to rebuild faith in that person. In fact, if you immediately trust your partner, you could be damaging your relationship further by making them think it is acceptable to violate your trust again.
Myth: Once you forgive, everything will be perfect in your relationship.
Truth: This is not necessarily true. First, no relationship is ever truly perfect. Next, there will still be work needed to make your marriage the relationship you desire it to be. You will probably continue to have unresolved feelings which you will need to work through.
Understanding the truth about forgiving can help you through the actual process. This is one of the first steps you and your spouse must take in order to save your marriage. You can begin learn how to restore your relationship and get back to the marital bliss of your honeymoon days.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Save Your Marriage – Is Your Marriage Worth Saving
September 9, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Marriage Guidance, Relationship Breakdown, Relationship Strategies, general
You probably will not find many married people who will say that marriage is easy. Any relationship takes effort to make it work well. However, there are times when you may wonder if you can save your marriage and if it is even worth saving. When considering whether or not you should make any attempt to salvage your relationship, there are several aspects you should think about.
Some questions to ask yourself are:
-What attracted you to your partner?
-What made you fall in love with this person?
-Were you really in love or was it just infatuation?
-What is your history together?
-Have you had good times along with the bad?
-Do the good times outweigh the bad ones?
-What are the causes or reasons for the bad issues?
-Do you think you can overcome the obstacles to these issues?
-If you have children, have you given serious thought as to how a separation or divorce will affect them?
Answer these questions honestly and even write your responses down to review later.
Now, think about what characteristics you envision your “perfect” spouse as having. Write these thoughts down as well. Be realistic in your expectations otherwise, your unrealistic ideals will just set you up for failure. Not every man can be Prince Charming nor can every woman be a super model.
Next, think about how your spouse compares to what you ideal is. Does he or she match up in most areas or is there a severe lacking of deficiencies?
Now, look over your answers to the questions and really examine what you have written down. Hopefully this exercise has given you an opportunity to consider and evaluate your relationship to help determine its worth.
Your marriage is probably the most important relationship in your life. Trying to save your marriage can be difficult, but in most cases, couples should try salvage their marital commitment to each other if at all possible. Yes, it will take a lot of work and dedication, but if you believe your marriage is worth saving, then your chances of being successful are great.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Save Your Marriage: Revitalize It!
August 5, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Marriage Guidance, Relationship Strategies, Win Back Love, general
Do you need to save your marriage because your relationship has gotten boring and routine? When you first got married, you probably thought it was always going to be wonderful. Most of the time, it probably is good, just not great. But, you know, any relationship takes a lot of work to be successful. If you really need to save your marriage, then revitalize it with these tips below.
Respect Each Other
Being disrespectful to anyone is not going to make them like you, so how much worse can it be to treat your spouse without respect. This is the person you chose to spend your life with and he or she should deserve your utmost respect.
Communicate
You have probably heard this many times, but communication is important. When something is wrong, you need to talk to your spouse about it. Be honest, respectful and positive. Also, talk about the good stuff happening in your lives. It doesn’t always need to be just about problems. Remember to listen to your spouse as well. Speaking is only half of the act of communicating.
Forgive
Disagreements are sure to arise from time to time. When your spouse has made a mistake or done something really stupid, you need to learn to forgive him or her. Don’t let bitterness take over. Keep in mind, you have probably done some dumb things too and need forgiveness.
Appreciate Each Other
It can be so easy to forget to acknowledge the little things your spouse does for you. Daily activities can become routine, but it is always good to tell your spouse “thank you” and let him or her know how much you appreciate the things they do.
“Date” Each Other
Spending time together by going on dates can spark the fire of love again. Break up the regular routine and go out to dinner, go for a walk, or any thing you both like to do. If going out is not feasible for you, have date night at home. The important thing is to spend time together to reconnect with each other.
Intimacy
This is one area of your relationship that you need to keep going. Again, the daily activities in our lives can make this seems like the last thing we even want to think about at the end of the day. However, intimacy and affection are important parts of a marriage where you should skip out on.
Marriage is not easy and does take work to keep the relationship growing and not becoming stagnant. By taking steps now to save your marriage, you can begin to revitalize the most important relationship in your life.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Are Your Finances Destroying Your Marriage? Get Control Of Your Finances and Save Your Marriage
July 26, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Marriage Guidance, More >>, Relationship Strategies, general
Money problems are one of the top reasons for divorce among married couples. Mismanagement of finances, over spending and under budgeting can cause so much stress that sometimes the marriage just begins to crumble. If you want to save your marriage from divorce, these tips will help to get your finances and your marriage back on track.
Discuss Your Financial Situation
Sit down and talk about your finances, your current money situation and ways you can get it all under control. There are many options available such as debt consolidation or credit counseling. Both of you should look at all of the options and determine the best solution for you and your situation.
Create and Follow a Budget
One of the main steps to regaining control of your finances is to make a budget and follow it consistently. Gather all of your bills and write down the balances, minimum payments due, payment due dates and any other pertinent information along with monthly income. Also make sure to included any other expenses such as groceries, clothing, entertainment, etc. Look over your newly created budget and look for any unnecessary expenses you could eliminate or reduce.
Once your budget has been created, make sure to follow it every month to help keep your finances in line.
Over spending can really wreck havoc on your finances. If this is a major source of concern in your marriage between one or both partners, it will be especially important for you to stick with your budget.
Make a Plan
Finally, you need to make a plan to get out of debt. There are many ways to get rid of all of your debt, but the best plan will be the one you stick to and follow consistently, just as you would with your new budget. Without a plan, your finances and marriage will just continue to worsen.
Now that you have these three tips, you need a guide to help you achieve these goals. More detailed information can help you to quickly save your marriage and get out of debt. Make your choice today for a better future.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
3 Tips To Spice Up Your Marriage – Save Your Marriage and Make It Exciting Again
July 9, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Marriage Guidance, More >>, Relationship Strategies, Win Back Love, general
You have spent months of planning your wedding day and dreaming of your future life with your spouse. Making the arrangements to make your beautiful day special and thinking about your honeymoon was building up the excitement. Then, once the honeymoon is over, reality sets in and married life begins. Although you may have the greatest marriage, there are sure to be times when things are not quite as exciting as they used to be. So when things start getting a little boring, what can you do to save your marriage? Well… spice it up!
Get Spontaneous
Even though there is nothing wrong with having daily routines, they can surely make things boring if nothing ever changes. Break up the monotony by doing something totally new and different. Plan a date night and go somewhere you have never been before. Instead of making it a weekend date, you could go out on a (gasp)… Wednesday!
Weekend Getaway
Plan a romantic weekend away for just the two of you. This does not need to be expensive. Getting a room at a local hotel and nice dinner can be done inexpensively. As much as you love your children, spending time alone together is very important for the health of your marriage. Even if you do not have children, just getting away from daily life can be beneficial.
Intimacy
Being intimate with your spouse can become routine like as well. Change things up and do something different. Surprisingly, some people are afraid to talk to their spouse about intimate things they desire. If you feel comfortable, open up to your spouse about what you would like and see what he or she would like as well. You may just be surprised by the reaction you receive.
Keeping your marriage exciting does not need to be a chore. Try these tips and you are sure to spice things up and save your marriage in the process.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
How To Save Your Marriage By Beginning With Yourself
July 8, 2009 by Admin
Filed under Marriage Guidance, More >>, Relationship Strategies, Win Back Love, general
If your marital situation has taken a change for the worse, your are probably wondering how to save your marriage and if it is even possible. First, yes it is possible. Second, you can begin on the road to salvaging your relationship by starting with yourself.
Your behavior and actions can make all the difference in the world, not only with how you feel about yourself but, also with the way your spouse views you. For instance, if you are always angry, upset, nagging and critical, do you think that you will be happy with yourself? Do you think your spouse will think you are the greatest person to be around? Your answer is probably no to both of those questions.
So, first, change your behavior and control your emotions. You need to have a positive frame of mind, even when you just do not feel like it. Anger will not help your marriage and it is not good for your health either. Let go of the anger and start feeling the joy in life, even in the small things.
Your actions towards your spouse can also cause a chain reaction. A smile, a hug, or even a quick kiss would be a positive action. Doing a chore for your partner that he or she normally does or bringing a small gift like a chocolate bar will show that person through your actions that he or she is loved. No matter how frustrated you may be, instead of nagging and being critical, try complimenting your partner about their good qualities. Continue doing this and you may be surprised by your spouse’s reaction.
When one person in a relationship begins to change, the other will notice and he or she will start to modify their behavior and actions as well. Get creative and think of different things you can do. Don’t wait for your spouse to change or your marriage to magically get better on its own. Take charge of your situation and learn how to save your marriage now.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love to save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.
Save Your Marriage Without Talking By Changing Your Actions And Attitude
July 6, 2009 by Admin
Filed under More >>, Relationship Strategies, Win Back Love, general
If your marriage is on the verge of falling apart, you can feel like there is nothing left to do to save the relationship. After all, you have talked and talked until you are blue. But have you really done all you can do? Sometimes actions speak louder than words and a change in attitude from the negative to the positive can make a world of difference in your marriage as well. You can begin to save your marriage using the steps below.
You have heard it many times before but communication is very important in any marriage. However, communication does not always need to be verbal. There are many other ways to communicate such as through your actions.
Your spouse needs to know that you love and care for him or her. You can of course say it a thousand times a day but if your actions do not show love, will your words be believable? The things you can do to show your spouse how much he or she is loved are numerous and can range from the smallest little act of kindness to something grand. Some of the ways you can show your love are:
* A quick hug or kiss
* Reach out and rub an arm or shoulder as you pass through a room
* Look into your partner’s eyes and really listen when he or she is speaking
* Do a chore for your spouse that he or she normally does
* Put a little “I love you” note in his briefcase or her purse.
* Get a small gift (a chocolate bar normally works well for women)
Of course, there are so many other things you can do, so use your imagination. You can probably come up with a huge list!
Your attitude will play a large part in your relationship as well. If you are generally negative about everything, you will have negative experiences. Look for the good and positive in your spouse and marriage. Most people are drawn to others who have a positive outlook on life, yet end to want to stay away from those who are negative all the time.
Now, there are times when just your actions and attitude are not enough to save your marriage, such as infidelity, abuse and addictions. However, there is still a help available, even in these cases.
Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love to save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.




