Basics Of Marriage Counseling

Almost half of all marriages end in divorce. That is why there is an increase in couples seeking marriage counseling. Nobody wants to think that the marriage they are in will end. Marriage counseling offers a way for couples to work thorough problems with an outside influence. Marriage counseling can help couples to rebuild a marriage that was on the way to divorce.

Marriage counseling is a type of therapy that helps married couples resolve problems they may be having in their marriage. Most often counseling is conducted with both partners present. However, sometimes there will be individual sessions depending on the couples needs. The basis for marriage counseling is research that has shown problems in a marriage are best solved through communication and working together. Marriage counseling usually lasts a short period of time, until the problems are resolved and the marriage is back on track and the couple can handle problems on their own. In a session the counselor will ask questions, listen and analyze problems. The counseling usually starts with an analysis of the marriage and its problems. Then the problems are worked through to an amicable conclusion.

Marriage counselors are trained in psychotherapy. They also have an understanding about families, how to understand client’s needs and problems. They also have training that allows them to help clients work through the problems to reach conclusions. All of this training lets them be able to identify underlying problems. A good marriage counselor will not make a client feel guilty or blame. They will teach clients to work through problems and get over bad feelings.

Marriage counseling can help couples open the lines of communication. Communication has been shown to be the key to a healthy and happy relationship. Couples with problems seek marriage counseling o get a better understanding of what has went wrong in their marriage, so they can once again have a string marriage.

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Marriage & Infidelity: Cheating Spouses Can’t Hide Their Extramarital Affairs From The Truth

September 13, 2011 by  
Filed under general, Relationship Breakdown

Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity, which can reduce a marriage to crumble, shatter trust and create a breeding ground for insecurity, mistrust and resentment. Most of us have witnessed affairs among people we know, and some of us even have had affairs ourselves. This kind of thing happens in the real world, and it happens all the time. One third of all married couples admit to having cheated on their mates. Let’s not be naïve. That’s quite a large number of people taking risks!

Affairs begin with two people who find each other interesting and attractive. For whatever reason, the relationship escalates into romance and, finally, into sexual intimacy. People who seek romance and sexual intimacy outside of their primary relationship feel that their relationship is missing something, so they go out and they seek it from someone else.

If you feel deep in your heart, that your spouse is lying and being unfaithful to you, here are some ways to be sure. One of the techniques professionals use to tell who is lying, and who is telling the truth is to follow eye movements. Neuro-Linguistic Programming says that when people are constructing imaginary or fantasy images we look up and to the left if we are right-handed and up and to the right if we are left-handed. Think, “What color is my Mom’s hair?” Where did your eyes go? Now think, “I’m an astronaut and when I went to the moon I made a snow-man out of moon dust.” Where did your eyes go this time?

In the book, Telling Lies by lie-catcher Paul Ekman, he presents his ‘facial action coding system.’ These are the facial expressions we all use that are hard-wired to the brain and will show up without our conscious control. Charles Bond, a psychologist at Texas Christian University reported that among 2,520 adults surveyed in 6.3 countries, more than 70% believe that liars tend to avert their gazes and/or stutter, touch, or scratch themselves or tell longer stories than usual.

If you’re spouse is working too many late nights, think about this next time you ask them what their plans are for the night.

Although, there has been some research lately that says this analysis is too simplistic to be counted upon, detectives continue to use it along with other tools. There was a story in Outside Magazine about a detective involved in an investigation of a poaching in a national park. He claimed he could tell within one minute if someone was lying. I got very excited and tracked him down to a sub-station in Wyoming. He said that he teaches his skills to trainees in one hour but he wouldn’t tell me what they were. Maybe he thought I was a secret poacher (which is hard to be in Santa Barbara)

Here are some other ways to tell if your partner or spouse is lying and having an extramarital affair:

  1. If their answer to your question is brief, clear, and direct, that is a good sign that it is true.
  2. Liars start to elaborate and repeat themselves and sometimes their story or the details change.
  3. The more a liar tries, the more you need to worry.

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Save Your Marriage with a Proven System that Works

Husbands have now a proven system that can save their marriages. If you are encountering serious problems in your marriage and you want to rekindle the passion your wife has for you, you can save your marriage using the system developed by Michael Cross.

The Marriage Savior system is a guaranteed method to transform any marriage that is going under and headed to divorce. It consists of two powerful manuals and two audio CDs that tackle every problem that couples can encounter in their entire marriage and how you will be able to handle all these problems effectively to save your marriage.

Specifically, The Marriage Savior system will empower you to learn the following to save your marriage:

– The strategy to transform marital arguments and fights into opportunities to draw your wife closer to you and share more intimate moments together;

– Easy to follow instructions :
(1) how to make you more attractive to the opposite sex including and most especially your wife;
(2) how to take the reign in your marriage;

– Technology and strategies to convert your otherwise nonchalant or domineering wife into someone who works for your pleasure such as giving you hot and passionate sex;

– Principles that will make you fully understand how and why your wife and the female in general behave as they do;

– How to appropriately respond to your wife’s nasty behavior such that she’ll end up apologetic for her bad behavior;

– How to assume power in any given situation in your marriage as well as outside your marriage or practically in all areas of your life;

– How to win over any or all manipulative tactics of women to subdue their men;

– Step-by-step method on how to overcome your self-defeating behavior to increase your self-esteem and take control of your marriage;

More importantly, The Marriage Savior system will allow you to see for yourself how the system actually works as you will be provided with case studies of men were closest to divorce but rescued by the system in time. You, too, can save your marriage with this proven and powerful system.

Save Marriage – Reconnect With Your Spouse Even If All Seems Lost

February 24, 2010 by  
Filed under general, Relationship Strategies

Many of us realize that marriage is not the easiest relationship in the world, but why is it so hard? Unless we adopt children, the only relatives that we get to choose are our spouses. Seems like it should work out, right? We can not change our parents or choose new siblings, but marriage– ahh that’s a whole different story.

Marriage brings out the best and the worst in a person’s character and shows us what we are capable of doing, both positive and negative. This special relationship challenges our mental, spiritual, social, and physical selves. Unfortunately, the natural human reaction to hard or stressful situations is fight or flight.

So after a few major disagreements with a spouse, frustrated partners second guess their initial decision to wed. The wheels start turning, and the flight response to the stressful situation becomes more and more attractive.

But what can you do if the fires of passion have burned out and only angry ones remain? How can you keep your soul connection with your spouse even during times of conflict?

1. Have confidence in the decision that you have made. Then realize that just like you wouldn’t normally divorce your mom or dad when they get on your last nerve, divorcing your spouse shouldn’t be the first thing that comes to mind when he/she annoys or disappoints you you repeatedly. I know it’s hard, but it’s a key factor in the success of your marriage.

2. If God is not at the center of your relationship, consider welcoming Him into the situation. To start, only one spouse needs to make this decision, but it’s best if both of you are on the same page. Praying together, and as individuals, can provide a solid foundation for your marriage and give you greater insight into what concerns your partner the most.

3. Make mutual respect a priority in your communication. If you find yourselves attacking each other personally, instead of discussing the pros and cons of a particular decision or action, then take a step back to reevaluate the situation. Choose words that reaffirm while getting your point across. For example, instead of saying: “I hate it when you don’t make time to be with me… the kids… etc.” TRY “Remember when we did XYZ? That was so much fun and the kids loved it too. Want to do it again?” SPOUSE’S REPLY HERE “Great! What date works for you?”

Additionally, don’t let other family members–kids, in-laws, steps, exes cloud your communication with each other. When they want to butt in, *respectfully* tell them to butt out. Then re-prioritize and refocus your attention on each other.

4. Listen even if you feel like you’ve heard the same statement hashed over and over again. Sometimes venting is necessary, and if your spouse can’t release his/her mental baggage with you, to whom will they voice their concerns? The lack of listening skills in marriage is one reason emotional infidelity gets started in the first place. If you take the time to listen now, you can avoid the headaches and heartaches associated with these extramarital relationships.

5. Start a ritual just for the two of you. Ideally, you’ll both take time out to do it every day or a few times a week. Engaging in ritual behavior, like sharing coffee, watching funny movies together or taking walks, gives you something to look forward to and can help you build intimacy.

6. Consider an organized marriage retreat. Retreats are great because, the facilitators give couples helpful tools for communicating, relating and often mating. You’ll see other couples who are going through the same challenges, and you’ll have time to focus solely on your relationship. No work, no kids/in-laws, no well-meaning friends, and no focusing on the ills of life.

7. Finally, make a point to get away every once in a while. This idea dovetails from the previous suggestion, but this time you and your honey will be alone. Whether you get your kids out of the house for a weekend or you book a seven day vacation to the Bahamas, it is necessary for you and your husband or wife to have extended alone time without any distractions.

Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.

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Save Your Marriage – Effective Tips to Resolve Your Conflicts and Save Your Marriage

Marriage can be one of the most important decision you could ever make in your life. As such a significant decision affects your entire future, it is crucial to find a solution to problems and conflicts in your relationship. Although your current outlook may look bleak, you can find comfort in knowing that you can save your marriage starting today.

You and your spouse should try to find a time and place where you will have no interruptions and begin discussing the problems in your marriage. Sometimes, your spouse may not even have any idea that you have a problems with some aspect of your relationship and you may also be unaware of your partner’s issues as well. Not talking about your conflicts can make your problems grow bigger and bigger like a snowball so it is important to get things out in the open as soon as possible.

Avoid becoming confrontational and turning your conversation into an argument. Remember, you are trying to have a discussion to resolve issues, not create additional ones. Remain calm and rational and if things start to get heated, you both should end the conversation and take a breather before it turns into a fight.

Even if there are several problems, make a goal to solve just one problem at a time. This way you can focus on one issue before moving onto the next one. Be prepared to compromise and make some sacrifices for each other to save your marriage. Once you have come to an agreement, work together on a daily basis to stick to your promise to one another.

Also, remember the problems probably did not come about overnight. You both will need to take it slow and not expect it to be resolved immediately. Just be patient with each other because it will take time and effort to repair your relationship.

Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.

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Can Love Save Your Marriage and Stop Divorce

Can love really save a marriage and stop divorce? In many cases, yes. Your love for each other may be the only thing left the two of you agree upon or have in common. Even when it may seem like divorce may be the only solution, if there are still feelings for each other, it is not too late to save your marriage.

Think back a time in your relationship before your problems began. Obviously, things were much better, otherwise you would not have gotten married in the first place. Since you once loved one another, the chances of finding happiness once again are good. You just need to know how to get to that point and what both of you need to do.

Relationships can take a turn for the worse for many reasons. Some of the most common ones are lack of communication, lack of intimacy, neglect, indifference, and simply just getting into the rut of daily life. These problems and issues can be overcome with commitment and determination to have a better marriage.

When struggling with marital problems, it is important to remember that men and women are different when it comes to thoughts and emotions. Women generally tend to talk about their emotions and express their emotions more than men. This does not mean that men do not feel their emotions. Men just generally tend to hold their emotions inside more than women. Women normally talk more about their thoughts than men as well.

Opening the lines of communication can be very helpful in dealing with many issues. The ability to discuss problems in a calm manner can assist in reaching a resolution. If you are unable to talk to each other, seeking the advice of a marriage counselor can often help. Having an impartial third party who is experienced in marital matters can help lead your discussions and get you on the right track.

If you truly want to save your marriage and stop divorce, your love for each other can be the key to your success.

Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.

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Save My Marriage – 4 Myths and Truths of Using Forgiveness to Save Your Marriage

There are many myths about forgiveness, but in order to save your marriage, forgiveness is a necessary factor. Whether your marital problems are caused by infidelity, financial problems, or most other issues, the ability to forgive will allow you to have a much greater chance of success. Deciphering the myths and truth about forgiving your spouse can help you in your decision to save your marriage.

Myth: If you forgive your spouse, you forget the problem.
Truth: Chances are that you will not forget the problem. However, you can forgive your partner for what he or she has done. Certainly, the issue will remain in your thoughts and that is perfectly normal. The act of forgiveness is only the first step to resolving troubles.

Myth: If you forgive, you are showing approval for what he or she has done.
Truth: On the contrary, approving or condoning an action has nothing to do with forgiveness. You can still acknowledge your disapproval and give the other person another chance.

Myth: Forgiveness means you trust your spouse.
Truth: Once trust has been broken, it can take quite awhile to rebuild faith in that person. In fact, if you immediately trust your partner, you could be damaging your relationship further by making them think it is acceptable to violate your trust again.

Myth: Once you forgive, everything will be perfect in your relationship.
Truth: This is not necessarily true. First, no relationship is ever truly perfect. Next, there will still be work needed to make your marriage the relationship you desire it to be. You will probably continue to have unresolved feelings which you will need to work through.

Understanding the truth about forgiving can help you through the actual process. This is one of the first steps you and your spouse must take in order to save your marriage. You can begin learn how to restore your relationship and get back to the marital bliss of your honeymoon days.

Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.

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Save Your Marriage – Is Your Marriage Worth Saving

You probably will not find many married people who will say that marriage is easy. Any relationship takes effort to make it work well. However, there are times when you may wonder if you can save your marriage and if it is even worth saving. When considering whether or not you should make any attempt to salvage your relationship, there are several aspects you should think about.

Some questions to ask yourself are:

-What attracted you to your partner?
-What made you fall in love with this person?
-Were you really in love or was it just infatuation?
-What is your history together?
-Have you had good times along with the bad?
-Do the good times outweigh the bad ones?
-What are the causes or reasons for the bad issues?
-Do you think you can overcome the obstacles to these issues?
-If you have children, have you given serious thought as to how a separation or divorce will affect them?

Answer these questions honestly and even write your responses down to review later.

Now, think about what characteristics you envision your “perfect” spouse as having. Write these thoughts down as well. Be realistic in your expectations otherwise, your unrealistic ideals will just set you up for failure. Not every man can be Prince Charming nor can every woman be a super model.

Next, think about how your spouse compares to what you ideal is. Does he or she match up in most areas or is there a severe lacking of deficiencies?

Now, look over your answers to the questions and really examine what you have written down. Hopefully this exercise has given you an opportunity to consider and evaluate your relationship to help determine its worth.

Your marriage is probably the most important relationship in your life. Trying to save your marriage can be difficult, but in most cases, couples should try salvage their marital commitment to each other if at all possible. Yes, it will take a lot of work and dedication, but if you believe your marriage is worth saving, then your chances of being successful are great.

Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.

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Save Your Marriage: Revitalize It!

Do you need to save your marriage because your relationship has gotten boring and routine? When you first got married, you probably thought it was always going to be wonderful. Most of the time, it probably is good, just not great. But, you know, any relationship takes a lot of work to be successful. If you really need to save your marriage, then revitalize it with these tips below.

Respect Each Other
Being disrespectful to anyone is not going to make them like you, so how much worse can it be to treat your spouse without respect. This is the person you chose to spend your life with and he or she should deserve your utmost respect.

Communicate
You have probably heard this many times, but communication is important. When something is wrong, you need to talk to your spouse about it. Be honest, respectful and positive. Also, talk about the good stuff happening in your lives. It doesn’t always need to be just about problems. Remember to listen to your spouse as well. Speaking is only half of the act of communicating.

Forgive
Disagreements are sure to arise from time to time. When your spouse has made a mistake or done something really stupid, you need to learn to forgive him or her. Don’t let bitterness take over. Keep in mind, you have probably done some dumb things too and need forgiveness.

Appreciate Each Other
It can be so easy to forget to acknowledge the little things your spouse does for you. Daily activities can become routine, but it is always good to tell your spouse “thank you” and let him or her know how much you appreciate the things they do.

“Date” Each Other
Spending time together by going on dates can spark the fire of love again. Break up the regular routine and go out to dinner, go for a walk, or any thing you both like to do. If going out is not feasible for you, have date night at home. The important thing is to spend time together to reconnect with each other.

Intimacy
This is one area of your relationship that you need to keep going. Again, the daily activities in our lives can make this seems like the last thing we even want to think about at the end of the day. However, intimacy and affection are important parts of a marriage where you should skip out on.

Marriage is not easy and does take work to keep the relationship growing and not becoming stagnant. By taking steps now to save your marriage, you can begin to revitalize the most important relationship in your life.

Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love at save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com/Recommends/Save-Marriage.htm now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.

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Marriage Counseling: Can It Really Save Your Marriage?

July 27, 2009 by  
Filed under general, Marriage Counseling, More >>

When you have conflicts in your relationship, you have several options available to use to try to save your marriage. Marriage counseling is just one of those many options. But, can seeking the advice and guidance of a counselor actually benefit you? You may be surprised by the answer to that question.

The single most important factor in whether counseling will be effective is the motivation of the couple. If you or your spouse has already decided that divorce is the only option, your chances of success are greatly reduced. However, this does not mean that this is an impossible situation. It just means more work will need to be done in order to be successful.

Another important factor is getting help as soon as possible. Waiting too long before seeking advice can be detrimental to your relationship. The problems will continue to grow and will take longer to resolve. Taking action quickly, before the situation gets worse, will increase the likelihood of a positive outcome.

The attitude you and your spouse bring to counseling and to your relationship can make a difference as well. Yes, you are there because of problems. However, when trying to resolve the conflicts and other issues, having a negative attitude and behavior will not help the situation. Let your actions, words and behavior reflect in your ability to remain positive in the face of problems. This will help you mentally as well as draw your partner into the positive mindset also.

The counselor you choose can make an impact too. You will want to make sure the person you choose is qualified and has the proper credentials. Choosing someone who is not qualified could possibly make your situation worse.

Marriage counseling is just one of the many way use can use to save your marriage. You have so many options available, so don’t lose hope.

Don’t let your marriage slip from your grasp… Learn how to resolve your damaging conflicts and rebuild the lost love to save your marriage today. You can get started saving your marriage in the next 10 minutes. Go to http://www.marriagenotdivorce.com now to help save your marriage and stop divorce.

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